Compromise and Sacrifice, Often we used these two terms interchangeably in most of scenario. These two words have great importance in our life. It reflects the true kind nature of human. It reflects our willingness of giving and adjusting for others.
Some time, we do this to adjust ourselves as per society norms, some time we do to make someone happy and some we do keep our relationship strong. Everyone in their life have compromised or sacrificed something or other for many different reasons. This has become necessity for our existence in this world. This has also become utmost importance for survival of any relationship.
Today, I would like to discuss about the basis difference between these two words. Although both words signified the giving and adjusting nature of human, but in the core these represents two different worlds. We live in a world where we have two different types of peoples, one who compromise and other who sacrifice.
Question is how I would define these two, For Compromise means, something we do or give to someone with an expectation of getting something in return. Also we may not give or do something with complete free will of our self, but due to some pressure or necessity or greed, we give or do something good for some one. Same time it will feel proud and demonstrate about its act. I would call this sense of act as a compromised act not sacrifice.
Whereas, Sacrifice, It is divine act, it is pure and filled with selflessness. It does not expect anything in return. It doesn’t ask any reason, it does not feel proud of being helper; it doesn’t want to show its kindness. It just make you feel peace and happy in your heart and smile on your face. It encourages you to give more and more without asking or getting anything in return. It is about true relationship between you and your taker.
Some great word also talk about relationship is all about giving. This giving does not means compromise, this means sacrifice. This relationship and be between you and your loved ones. It can be between you and nature. It can be between you and your god.
Compromise is the word to be used for all practical purpose, where profit and loss will be considered. It builds a practical relationship, where love is based on what you get and what you give. It is all about your rational brain act.
Same time, sacrifice is the word used for a true, divine relationship. It only talks about giving anything and everything selflessly. It is about give others much more important than you. It builds a relationship from your heart and soul.
That why God always ask you to sacrifice the things rather compromise with it. It always talks about selflessness rather than business proposal with profit and loss. True relationship builds on sacrifices not on compromise. Love from heart and soul rather than mind and greed.
In our life we all go through one common phase where we find ourselves having conflicting views with our older generation people. If I have start pointing out then it would many. It is mainly because of cultural shift and human movement across the globe. Things changes, culture, habit, living standard and more importantly our thinking change. Today, I would like to focus on one most important concept of new generation is “Concept of Independence”.
One thing which separate us from our old generation with new generation is thought of independence, thought of self-reliability. Impact of these changes are differ from country to country, but there is no deny of the fact that new generation are becoming or want to become much more independent and self-reliable. New generation want to do everything by their own means, their way, own resources and more importantly it focus is always remain on “I”, “Me” and “Myself” whereas Old generation was bit more inclined towards “We”, “Our” and “Ourselves”.
It sounds great to hear when anyone says “Hey, I am self-reliable and independent”. No doubt, it’s really great thing and we should admire him for this.
Same time, when someone says “Hey, I am self-reliable and independent and I don’t need any one for ………”. Once I hear this part or something when they start emphasizing themselves, then I really put a very big question mark on that guy.
I would like to put my thought in below quote:
Battle can be won by own, war needs a team.
There is nothing in this world, which is completely independent or self-reliable. A flower can never be by itself alone. A flower relies on many non-flower elements in order to be able to manifest. The nuclear scientist David Boham has said that an electron is not an entity in itself, but is made of all the other electrons. There are no separate entity exist, there are only manifestations that rely on each other to be possible. It’s like the left and the right. The right is not a separate entity that can exist by itself alone. Without the left, the right cannot be. Everything is like that.
You cannot be by yourself alone, you have to interleave with everything else to exist. There is no absolute freedom or independence in this world. If you observe anything very closely, you will find that we are not independent rather we are interdependent on all other entities.
Same applies to family, society, friends and our loved once. Now a day we all becoming and moving towards nuclear family, living alone and so-called having own space. Most of us live in dream where we find our self as completely independent but in reality we all need each other. If we keep on getting nuclear and nuclear, then trust me one day we will get lose ourselves. Imagine a country where each and every part of it (State, City, and Locality) asks Independence. Will that country and their parts will ever be able to survive by their own?
My point is it is good to be independent for you and your families need, but do not stretch it too far or else it will destroy your own identity. Consider independence only as a relative term. You should always remember that you are part of someone and some thing, always be there. Live as you part of family; consider your family as big as possible as universe.
You may consider yourself as Independent as you want, but always remember you been always dependent on every other things. Independence come with IN Dependence.
If you have think that you have been getting something in free or too easily, then I will say think again!!!!!
When I say free, I do not means in monetary terms only, broadly it means something happen without any action, event or any reason. We can define these entire triggering events as cost for that particular action.
If we like to observe our natural world, then we will realize that there is no such things called “free” exist in our world. Every reaction has attached with some action. Nothing happens without any reason. Nothing moves without any force. There need to something loose, so that we can gain some thing.
If you are getting something unexpected then it would valid to assume that either you or your loved ones have already paid the prices for that or it is investment you are doing for future events. Swami Vivekananda had perfectly put this below message:
“What we are now has been the result of our own past actions, it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in the future can only be produced by our present actions; so we have to know how to act.” Swami Vivekananda
Whatever we do or did or going to do, each and every action will have some kind of impact on us directly or indirectly. It is very simple science which has been taught us by Sir Isaac Newton i.e. “Every action has equal and opposite reaction.”
Well I would like it to elaborate it bit further for example: To have every action your need some pre-action or to have every pre-action you will have some other pre-pre-action. Out Universe is nothing but chain of reaction of everything we do.
Let’s talk about from our day to day life, if you got some free gift, trust me sooner or later you have to pay them back in same or other form. If you help someone today, sooner or later same person or other will help you in some other way. If you hurt someone today, then sooner or later it going hit you back may not be the same way but it will.
Some time we draws hastily conclusion by seeing some through short term gain or loss, like if someone doing bad for some time and still he is reached at the top. Or some time, people are doing good deeds still he is suffering. If you ever trying to decide just by looking this kind of figure, then I would say wait, do fix up your mind yet. You are only looking only one side of coin. Things has not yet completed, they will have pay back or get in return of what they did. They may have already paid the price for all these things or will be asked to pay in future. The reason I am sure about this is because nature has to balance itself. Balance is the key for nature to survive. Balance is the reason we exist.
My Point is never take anything for granted as it coming free to you, it has cost you do not know if you had paid for it or you will paid for it. Never take discourage yourself, if you are not getting for what you have earned either you will get it or you are paying for what you had already got. That is reason we have asked to keep believe in our selves and perform our Karma.
Only one thing is there which you can do as of now, is keep doing positive things, keep moving, if you got any help be grateful for that and keep helping others. Keep accumulating your good action as an investment, so that when return will come, trust me it will be HUGE.
There are more than 7 billion people on our planet and each one of us unique in nature with different approach towards life. We all have our own experience and learning through out of life time. In a way we all have become expert in certain situation or handling certain phase of life. We all have something unique which other people do not have.
Although, we know we are not perfect, we lack in many aspect of our lives. We still need different learning and new perspective to live our life properly. Having said that, I often realized peoples are not very comfortable with other experience and lesson. We do not learn from other’s people experience. Also I have found one common attitude among us that we give more important to person who tries to teach us rather than teaching. We ask many questions to our selves, before we even listen to them. For ex:
- I know what I am supposed to know
- We doubt their intention and integrity
- Who are you to teach me
- You practice before Preaching
I find these behavior very amusing, because sooner or later we do need to through those phases of life where could have taken advantage of those lesson. Then we realized and understand that same thing which they have already gone through. So rather than learning from them we tend to run away from them until and unless life makes us to face that.
So, what wrong with us, why can’t we simply learn from other people mistake or experience which will save us from many bad phases. Why can be so humble and respectful in front of person or nature which trying to teach us a new lesson every day. Why are we being so arrogant about what we are, although we know that we are not perfect? Why can’t we try to learn one new simple thing every day which other people already knew? Why we try to reinvent the wheel, when we can simply ride on that.
Well, after this many why, I am not sure if I have answer for these. May be because we think we are too good to live our life by ourselves. May be we tend to live our lives like a frog in well, who think well is the only and complete world exist.
I am not saying do not make mistake or do not go through bad experience. All I am trying to say, try not to make the same mistake which some one has already did it and if at all you want to make same mistake, then fair enough make this as conscious decision and go through it, maybe you will learn something new in that same phase.
My point is, we should never become too arrogant or ignorant about the lesson from our or others life. Your teacher can be anyone starting from small kid to old age Oxford professor, or a corrupt leader to evil man. They can be our God and Goddess or it can be nature. They can come from your own soul or from dumb headed person.
Lesson and experience are everywhere, it just we need to keep our heart humble and ready to listen. Each and every moment in our life will have someone or other who tries to teach us something to make us better person. Never look at the source that will give you lesson, it does not matter who teach you, what matter most is what they teach you.
Couple of week back, I was travelling to my home town. During that journey I had met few people who force me to think about our own attitude and thinking towards right and wrong activities. I am not here to define what is right or what is wrong. What I want to discuss is the thinking process and feeling behind of being wrong.
Let me ask you this “How you feel when some one says or prove you wrong?”.
I guess most of the person’s answer it in negative way like bad, embarrassing, shameful, angry and mad. Fair enough, its kind natural and common behavior of human being.
Now let me ask you one more question “How you feel when you know you are doing wrong?”
I guess this time, most of the people will say it like does not feel anything bad, if they feel something then either they will try ignore it or try to justify it.
- Its okay, no one looking at me.
- No one will find it.
- Everyone does this why not me?
- Common, it’s correct for me.
So, feeling of being wrong is not depends on what we did, rather it depends on how people will perceive about it. Even we know deep down inside our heart that this is not what we are supposed to do, but if its yields us a good result then I guess we take a shot. When people caught us for some wrongdoing, we try to justify or lie to our self, so that we can come clean from outside irrespective of how much dirty are we from inside.
These wrong doing action are those action, which commonly accepted as general bad practice or rarely caught in our society. When we perform this action, we often try to prove and justify ourselves saying “It is okay”. They try to make these bad actions into legitimate right actions by giving their own justification, which I guess very dangerous trait in us. Some people also feel proud of being escaped from getting caught. They become completely ignorant about the mistake they had done. They feel that they can do it again and again without getting caught because they do not feel bad while doing wrong, but they do feel bad when the get caught.
These attitudes make me feel worried, because it no longer a place where we feel bad on what action we did rather its become on if we get caught or not. If we continue to follow the same path, there will be a one day when there will not be any wrong thing and everything will be right from any point of view and that will imbalance and dis-stabilize every thing of this world. We can always discuss about what is right and wrong, but the mindset or thinking about right and wrong is some thing we need to re look and rethink.