Compromise and Sacrifice, Often we used these two terms interchangeably in most of scenario. These two words have great importance in our life. It reflects the true kind nature of human. It reflects our willingness of giving and adjusting for others.
Some time, we do this to adjust ourselves as per society norms, some time we do to make someone happy and some we do keep our relationship strong. Everyone in their life have compromised or sacrificed something or other for many different reasons. This has become necessity for our existence in this world. This has also become utmost importance for survival of any relationship.
Today, I would like to discuss about the basis difference between these two words. Although both words signified the giving and adjusting nature of human, but in the core these represents two different worlds. We live in a world where we have two different types of peoples, one who compromise and other who sacrifice.
Question is how I would define these two, For Compromise means, something we do or give to someone with an expectation of getting something in return. Also we may not give or do something with complete free will of our self, but due to some pressure or necessity or greed, we give or do something good for some one. Same time it will feel proud and demonstrate about its act. I would call this sense of act as a compromised act not sacrifice.
Whereas, Sacrifice, It is divine act, it is pure and filled with selflessness. It does not expect anything in return. It doesn’t ask any reason, it does not feel proud of being helper; it doesn’t want to show its kindness. It just make you feel peace and happy in your heart and smile on your face. It encourages you to give more and more without asking or getting anything in return. It is about true relationship between you and your taker.
Some great word also talk about relationship is all about giving. This giving does not means compromise, this means sacrifice. This relationship and be between you and your loved ones. It can be between you and nature. It can be between you and your god.
Compromise is the word to be used for all practical purpose, where profit and loss will be considered. It builds a practical relationship, where love is based on what you get and what you give. It is all about your rational brain act.
Same time, sacrifice is the word used for a true, divine relationship. It only talks about giving anything and everything selflessly. It is about give others much more important than you. It builds a relationship from your heart and soul.
That why God always ask you to sacrifice the things rather compromise with it. It always talks about selflessness rather than business proposal with profit and loss. True relationship builds on sacrifices not on compromise. Love from heart and soul rather than mind and greed.
There have been phases in our life, when we do not know what to do. There will be a situation when you know what exactly you want, but you do not know how reach there. You know what makes you happy, but unable to find it. You want to keep searching but do not know which path will lead to you destination. You will always be afraid of choosing about any path because you do not know which path will lead to your goal or dream. Same time you cannot ask any one, as this what you and only you have to find but do not know how.
Life will give you many paths and many options and leave the decision to you. It is you who has to decide where to go, but question is how can we decide when we don’t even know which path leads to where. Either of paths is unknown to you, but still you have to choose the path. Question is on which basis we should choose the path? Should we use our mind or heart to make these decisions? There is no right and wrong, there is no profit and loss concept. It is just you have to walk along the road, without knowing where it will lead it.
Do we say this choice we have to make or is this just a gamble in our life. We just put out life blindly on some path and see where it leads it. Many people argue we can write our own destiny, but what if you know how to achieve that. When you do not know which path will lead you where? Then how am I supposed to make any decision.
Should we blindly make any decision and go ahead with that? Or should we rely on someone from our loved ones to make the decision for us? Or should we leave everything to time and faith and let see where it take us through.
To be honest, I do not know the answer. May be you guys can help me?
Hermann Hesse was born in Germany to Johannes Hesse and Marie Gundert on July 2, 1877. Hesse was not among the best student during his childhood. He study in many different school in hope of getting better, but it did went as expected.
1890-1892: Attends Rector Otto Bauer Goppingen, a preparatory Latin School, then he moved to studies theology at Seminar Maulbronn, a Cistercian monastery.
1892: Attempt suicide after bout of depression.
Finally his parents called him back to home in 1893. He cultivated a passion of reading in his grandfather’s library and for helping at his father’s publishing house.
1894-95: Works in the Claw Clock Factory as the apprentice to a mechanic.
1895: Settles in Tubingen, where he works as apprentice to a book dealer at Heckenhauer’s bookstore.
1899: Move to Basel, Switzerland, to work in another bookshop; begins work on a history of German Romanticism, a major theme in much of his writing.
1904: Publishes Peter Camenzind and marries Maria Bernoulli.
1911: Travel for two months to Sumantra and Ceylon, but never to India, seeking spiritual enlightenment, but becomes disillusioned by poverty; moves back to Gaienhofen, then to Bern, Switzerland.
1914: Publishes Rosshalde. Also started working for German prisoners of war in Bern till World War -I ends.
1915: Publishes a series of popular short stories titled Knulp.
1916: Father dies; wife Maria Suffers a nervous disorder and is institutionalized in a sanatorium.
1916-17: Suffer from a nervous breakdown himself. Hesse undergoes psychoanalysis in a sanatorium near Lucerne with Josef B Lang.
1919: Publishes Demain under the pseudonym Emil Sinclair and took the voluntary exile in Montagnola in southern Switzerland.
1922: Publishes Siddhartha.
1923: Divorces Maria; Taken Swiss citizenship.
1924: Marries Ruth Wenger in January.
1927: Publishes Steppenwolf ; divorce Ruth Wenger.
1930: Publishes Narcissusa and Goldmund.
1931: Marries Ninon Auslander Dolbin in Nov.
1943: Publishes The Glass Bead Game.
1946: Receives the Nobel Prize in Literature, primarily because of The Glass Bead Game.
1951: English edition of siddhartha published in translation by Hilda Rosner.
1962: Dies on August 9 of leukemia.
This blog is inspired from the book Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse.
There are more than 7 billion people on our planet and each one of us unique in nature with different approach towards life. We all have our own experience and learning through out of life time. In a way we all have become expert in certain situation or handling certain phase of life. We all have something unique which other people do not have.
Although, we know we are not perfect, we lack in many aspect of our lives. We still need different learning and new perspective to live our life properly. Having said that, I often realized peoples are not very comfortable with other experience and lesson. We do not learn from other’s people experience. Also I have found one common attitude among us that we give more important to person who tries to teach us rather than teaching. We ask many questions to our selves, before we even listen to them. For ex:
- I know what I am supposed to know
- We doubt their intention and integrity
- Who are you to teach me
- You practice before Preaching
I find these behavior very amusing, because sooner or later we do need to through those phases of life where could have taken advantage of those lesson. Then we realized and understand that same thing which they have already gone through. So rather than learning from them we tend to run away from them until and unless life makes us to face that.
So, what wrong with us, why can’t we simply learn from other people mistake or experience which will save us from many bad phases. Why can be so humble and respectful in front of person or nature which trying to teach us a new lesson every day. Why are we being so arrogant about what we are, although we know that we are not perfect? Why can’t we try to learn one new simple thing every day which other people already knew? Why we try to reinvent the wheel, when we can simply ride on that.
Well, after this many why, I am not sure if I have answer for these. May be because we think we are too good to live our life by ourselves. May be we tend to live our lives like a frog in well, who think well is the only and complete world exist.
I am not saying do not make mistake or do not go through bad experience. All I am trying to say, try not to make the same mistake which some one has already did it and if at all you want to make same mistake, then fair enough make this as conscious decision and go through it, maybe you will learn something new in that same phase.
My point is, we should never become too arrogant or ignorant about the lesson from our or others life. Your teacher can be anyone starting from small kid to old age Oxford professor, or a corrupt leader to evil man. They can be our God and Goddess or it can be nature. They can come from your own soul or from dumb headed person.
Lesson and experience are everywhere, it just we need to keep our heart humble and ready to listen. Each and every moment in our life will have someone or other who tries to teach us something to make us better person. Never look at the source that will give you lesson, it does not matter who teach you, what matter most is what they teach you.
Couple of week back, I was travelling to my home town. During that journey I had met few people who force me to think about our own attitude and thinking towards right and wrong activities. I am not here to define what is right or what is wrong. What I want to discuss is the thinking process and feeling behind of being wrong.
Let me ask you this “How you feel when some one says or prove you wrong?”.
I guess most of the person’s answer it in negative way like bad, embarrassing, shameful, angry and mad. Fair enough, its kind natural and common behavior of human being.
Now let me ask you one more question “How you feel when you know you are doing wrong?”
I guess this time, most of the people will say it like does not feel anything bad, if they feel something then either they will try ignore it or try to justify it.
- Its okay, no one looking at me.
- No one will find it.
- Everyone does this why not me?
- Common, it’s correct for me.
So, feeling of being wrong is not depends on what we did, rather it depends on how people will perceive about it. Even we know deep down inside our heart that this is not what we are supposed to do, but if its yields us a good result then I guess we take a shot. When people caught us for some wrongdoing, we try to justify or lie to our self, so that we can come clean from outside irrespective of how much dirty are we from inside.
These wrong doing action are those action, which commonly accepted as general bad practice or rarely caught in our society. When we perform this action, we often try to prove and justify ourselves saying “It is okay”. They try to make these bad actions into legitimate right actions by giving their own justification, which I guess very dangerous trait in us. Some people also feel proud of being escaped from getting caught. They become completely ignorant about the mistake they had done. They feel that they can do it again and again without getting caught because they do not feel bad while doing wrong, but they do feel bad when the get caught.
These attitudes make me feel worried, because it no longer a place where we feel bad on what action we did rather its become on if we get caught or not. If we continue to follow the same path, there will be a one day when there will not be any wrong thing and everything will be right from any point of view and that will imbalance and dis-stabilize every thing of this world. We can always discuss about what is right and wrong, but the mindset or thinking about right and wrong is some thing we need to re look and rethink.
If you’re going through hell, keep going.
If you going through tough time in your life, then this is the phrase that you always want to remember.